Good bye

When everything is typical
I'll be the wish upon a star
I've found a place so magical in this life
Precious circle is mended
Sense vertigo in me
So I'll be your halo
So unstoppable
My love for you
So unstoppable
Memories of you
So beautiful

I ll see you again

Good bye

Will start again
to fall and start again....

- Mudvayne, Good bye

Metamorphism

If there was one thing that could make over the way the world looked and felt, it was his photography! I have always been mesmerized by the way he can change and bring brilliance to subjects that are plain with his touch (literally – you see it is an iphone!) Here goes the “before & after” of a monotonous photo turned into a luminous one! As much as what Jimi Hendrix can do to his guitar, I think my friend just did it to his - only in a more creative way!

The above photographer I am referring to is Sonaal, one of my most creative friends. He is from Bombay and his photographs are a stairway to heaven!

The Secret Solution

Recently, I was in a mess. What the hell! I am always in a mess. And one fine day, I woke up from my deep slumber, thanks to those noise-aholics and mosquitoes in Chennai, and I started penning down my mess (for lack of a creative synonym and unanimity). The result – I found THE secret solution to all my hitches. In fact, most likely everyone’s dilemmas in life!

The art of forgetting. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth to remember. Forget the past and forget the future. However, I am not restraining you from planning for the future. Just stop worrying about it so much! Be different and follow what you like. Like Frankie said, do it your way (Yes - the song)!

The present demands a little forgetful memory too. You know – to not sit in a corner and cry or make a fool of yourself! Like, forgetting what you ruined in a presentation. Or forgetting when you lost money in stocks. Or forgetting a cold war with a good friend. Or forgetting that you are probably falling in love with someone who isn’t! And I am not making it up, the solution does work. It's working.

Down a Quarter

First there is the “drama queen” me – one who thinks that life is a combination of Friends, The Lake House and Notting Hill.

And then there is this “practical prude” me – one that is a combination of Dark Knight, Blood Diamond and a Stonehearted B****.

I have always been this Practical Prude (PP), that emotions and commitments used to drive me crazy. But now that I am getting hit by this absurd quarter life crisis, this Drama Queen (DQ) is trying to take over. So this post is about the eternal debate that goes on between me and me, between PP and DQ.

DQ: Awww… True love exists… Even today, there ARE people who want to grow old with each other…

PP: Wake up woman! People want to grow old with each other simply because they will finally have a physiological excuse to not have sex with each other.

DQ: Hey… Don’t be so offensive… life is all about that guy you love, everything else is secondary…

PP: Okay! Now you sound like a cheesy Karan Johar movie rip-off!

DQ: Well, it may sound melodramatic, but yes life is fuelled by relationships and relationships in-turn by emotions…

PP: aah come on… Most people are so self-absorbed; you’ll end up revolving around them like a pointless earth revolving around the sun without receiving a watt of solar light. Love yourself first, and if you have some left, distribute it to an NGO or something!

DQ: What is the point of charity or good will when you don’t have a loving partner to share it with?

PP: Think about nothing – both money and energy - being left for charity or good will… everything spent on your “loving” partner…

DQ: You are just being unreasonable… Soul mates exist… all you need to do is find them… Miracles are waiting… You have to let them happen… If expected things happen, they are not called miracles now are they? Wait for your prince charming come riding by, wait for him to sweep you off your feet, wait for him to touch your life… just wait for him to be a part of your essence and he will define your life...

PP: You fucking sheer waste of human cells! Get over it! Fame, power, money – these are the three things that define you in life and thereafter!

DQ: Unbelievable… you are absolutely heartless…

PP: Probably you should get a quarter of whiskey for yourself and read Chicken Soup for the Soul…

and that’s how it ends every time…

A toast to Champak

Dear Champak,

How are you? We are doing well here – without your annoying jokes and adhoc schedules. You owe us a lot. A lot. There is a hole on my floor because of you, bounding in excitement. The alcohol targets for TASMAC, Chennai has gone haywire and there is a sales review meeting held at district level. Consumer spending has come down. Food is plenty. The poor can afford Sambhar-Wada now. Oh my, the traffic cops are breathing easy these days. Airtel is whining in a corner, mourning over the loss of your connection. People don't have broken jaws anymore! I have an assortment of utensils and bottles in my car and my flat. Your presence still lingers on the pondichery beach. The moonrakers fishes are not traumatized of being preyed upon!

The saying “You only realize the value of a thing when it is gone” is an understatement here. We had a lot of fun and it is only going to get better. We learnt not to take life seriously but live seriously. Yes – there is a difference. We learnt to value time on time and we learnt to act and not react. That’s a lot. I am used to not sleeping these days. Damn you biological clock!

You could try opening a psychology consulting setup. You are good. I am not kidding. You have a solution to almost any problem – though I really didn’t give a second thought then. Consider making money. There are many heart wrenched, rationally challenged crowd around us. You know, the typical quarter life crisis (btw I am turning 25 in another 5 months and you better be around this time – I really loved your birthday surprise last year!) What I am trying to say here is – beneath the saw dust of slapstick humor and uncomplicated principles, lays a human like anyone of us. However, I like your ‘Ignorance is bliss’ outlook. I am still learning that. You will excel in whatever you do. We wish you all the very best.

On an ending note, we miss you (a little). I know it will fade away with time and I know you will be forgotten. Yes – I am serious.

Hugs,

Chirkut

Statutory warning: I am in a very bad mood

Well, I am just not in the mood for emotional blogging/bragging or probably talking about my life’s step ups, step downs and all that jazz!

Oh yes. Also, not on the happy Christmas or New Year hang overs.

Read on. Enjoy.

I hate cryptic facebook statuses. I think it is just an attention seeking publicity stunt.

I like feeling depressed at times. It is better than feeling nothing. Which I also feel a lot of.

My greatest fear on the earth is balding and hair loss.

I think I am a genius. Not everyone agrees.

I cannot face the world with a pimple.

Economy is going nowhere. Bulls and bears are just fetish to talk about.

I am scared of ghosts more than real criminals.

I hate kids. I cannot tolerate their scent, noise or whining.

I don’t like people with opinions. They confuse the shit out of me.

I am so full of myself. I don’t care about the world at large.

I detest calling restaurants for home delivery simply because they ask me my name and the conversation will stretch for more than five minutes spelling out my full name.

I have realised that over thinking sucks.

I prefer women to men. Not in a sexual way though.

I am actually very happy. I just like cribbing.

If you think this post is just crap, So do I.

I don't know what I want!

From a road travelled when there was none, to when the first stretch of gravel was laid and the very first map was still being created, I have been a part of this journey – on the road of “figuring out what I want”! I remembered times I used to forget what I had to do while walking from my bedroom to my hall, thanks to my hyperactive brain. But lately I have consciously and subconsciously avoided thinking too much…or for that matter, at all. I’ve been moody, biting everyone’s heads off, snapping every second, and generally behaving like a cranky old woman.

Probably, it is the need for complacence and satisfaction. But I also figure that human needs are never-ending, moving on from one bough to another, clearly unsatisfied. I have idiotic whims and fancies. And in pursuit of them, lies the beatific path to the worst nightmare! You may plan an amazing Europe trip down to the very last detail, but you never know when an unpronounceable natural disaster decides to throw up somewhere in Iceland. You may plan to marry the love of your life, but you never know how many women he may have telephonically wedded. Like, seriously?!

But at this point of my life, I really, really have NO plan. What I sketched 3 years ago has been erased and suspended. What I can see ahead is blur and far-fetched. I don’t have an agenda or an itinerary. I have been ridiculously trying to stay the same, calm, positive and up-beat. I have been avoiding the fear of going through the history again and turning myself into a phobic of life, love and plans!! It is withering out and I can see it. And it is not a good feeling.

Bleah! I don’t know what I want. Again!