Real steel did steal!

Strangely enough for a girl, I find robots very fascinating. Very fascinating. Their size, appearance and the radiance – sheer brilliance! However, when I got out of the theatre, it was not the massive robots or the fine-looking Hugh Jackman who stayed back but this child artist, Dakota Goyo, who stuck on to my head. Frankly, I wouldn’t be completely wrong if I said that this boy was the heart and soul of the movie. For once, Dakota’s performance changed my perception – that children are almost always annoying.

The boy has given his best shot in his every scene - where the kid is as stubborn as his father or where he makes “the bad dad” realize how awful he was. I mean, the very statement “You sold me for $50,000?” is hilarious and heinous! Not to mention the robot dance prior to each fight, I really wanted to stand up and applaud in the theater. The boy has stolen my heart! There are a lot of things that he subtly portrayed in his character for us to take home – fearlessness, persistence, love, composition and honesty. Evangeline and Hugh were good too. Their love-hate relationship was something that each one of us can relate to. There were many other fillers and “whatshisname” characters in the movie but it didn’t really matter to me because all of them were centered on the Hugh and Dakota’s father-son duo.

Since a lot of you might not have watched the movie yet, I am just going to zip up and tell you that the movie has everything to offer – relationship, drama, gadgets, robots, and fights, well everything, except sex – definitely worth a watch on the big screen.

Implications of Google's acquisition

Google CEO Larry Page during the announcement of the Motorola Mobility deal mentioned that the anti-competitive practices of Apple and Microsoft forced them into the Motorola deal. Well, I wouldn’t deny and there are completely backing up statistics of Apple’s iPad sales for 2010 and 2011. Where would you position and innovate with the android? The Samsung tablet has been banned from stores in Europe for allegedly copying not only iPad’s hardware and software design and functions but also the packaging and other minor details. Apple went further to call that “slavishly copying”.

Google says that Motorola will run as it does today without preferential treatment. It’s hard to believe that all handset manufacturers see it this way which brings me to my next point. While Google was a pure play software company creating an open source OS hardware vendor across the world welcomed it as a means to upstage or remotely compete with Apple.

We should expect to see Android running on better hardware, optimized to enhance the user experience. While Google’s Nexus line of phones set the benchmark for how good an Android phone could be, we could expect to see a lot more from Motorola that raises the bar on Android smart phones. Furthermore, with a call on the hardware, optimists can finally see an android tablet that could potentially rival the iPad.

It also helps that Motorola has some 24,000 patents under its belt. All these events and situations led to the deal. So we can now see increased rivalry between the 3 major cell phone manufacturers who also own the platform those cell phones run on – Apple, Microsoft and Google.

Toh Zinda Ho Tum

Recently, I watched the film Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara. It was a very nice movie and I shall not deny that. Though it was not incredibly extraordinary, it did evoke in me, certain things that I thought I knew, certain things I do and certain things I should be doing.

#to persevere and to let go

Perseverance and letting go are both often complimentary. While it is good to “try, try till you succeed”, it is better to let go sometimes and chose a different path that actually interests you. Career is a means and not an option.

#it is good to forget

Bernard Shaw once said that the most uneducated person was the one who had nothing to forget. Memory when good is a positive guide, and when bad, totally negative. The choice in this context is not between forgetting and not forgetting: the real choice is between living with all kinds of bitter memories and totally freeing yourself from them.

#love yourself

People feel lonely; they need somebody to fill their loneliness. They call it love. Consider this, you go to a bank for a loan, they will not give you any unless they know you have enough!

#distance no bar

Though you may be with someone everyday, you may not be close to them. On the other hand, someone who is miles away could actually be much more significant.

#live and let live

I love this one! I have been pursuing for quite sometime now and it indeed liberates you off all the strings and saddles. Life is a small affair; a seventy-year affair in which one-third will be gone in sleep, another one-third will be gone in earning bread and butter, another one-third in other stupidities.

#it is written

Though it seemed like a slumdog millionaire rip off, where the movie ends with “D. It is written”, it was brought as a fresh wit in this movie. Though I believe in it, I also believe that there is always a chance to rewrite, to relive.

I shape me

It is but to keep the nerves at strain,
To dry one's eyes and laugh at a fall,
And baffled, get up to begin again,
So the chase takes up one's life, and all.

Look but once from your farthest bound,
At me so deep in the dust and hue,
No sooner the old hope drops to ground,
Than I shape me— because I am I, and you are you!

The End

A coffee shop by the beach. The clouds are grey, the temperature is cold and the breeze is salty. Meera has been waiting for the past 38 minutes.

Kunal: Hey Meera! Finally. Long time!

Meera: Hey Kunal.. how are you? Nice to see you..

Kunal: Pretty good!! I know! After 3 long years.. Well, a lot has been on.. My business is cashing in... Purchased a flat in Vile Parle, east… bought a brand new car, without a loan… life has never been so good before! You tell me.. whats up?

Meera: Hehe! Nice! Very nice.. My life is going on.. Same old.. IT and all that jazz… but yes – I am off my education loan finally..

Kunal: So how come this part of the country all of a sudden? I was surprised you called me this morning. And I am actually heading for a meeting now and then I will be meeting my friends for dinner tonight.. Will you be around?

Meera: oh yes, you know I had to return couple of your things.. so.. just came over.. and I am so sorry, I can't join you tonight.. I will be leaving this evening..

Kunal: What is it? You flew all the way to return this?? Unbelievable!

Meera: Don’t open it now. You can see it later. May be later tonight. Nothing important. Shall we ask for the bill?

Kunal: Sure! Seriously, It was so nice seeing you man.. after a long long time!

Meera: Same here..

Later that night when Kunal accidently remembered about the box, he opened it. He could not believe that she flew all the way, across the country, spending thousands, just to return some of his old stuff that he may not even need anymore. Ridiculous – he thought!

As he opened, the box had a gift and a note that said, ‘Congratulations! You made it J’

Be Right Back

Even though we have changed and we are finding our own place in the world, we know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we will come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we are not still friends.

Happy Journey and See ya soon Sanjay Vasudevan!

Living on a possibility

Dear Mind,

I appreciate the fact that you have always been around for me, to talk to. And you have been my good old companion for the past 24 years. I admire you and I cannot live without you but yes, there are certain snags that you possess and you must know how I feel about those. You must know that only “Seeing is Believing” and you live in an imaginary paradise.

I know you can think faster than a 1640 GHz processor (if at all that is invented sometime just about). And yet, you suck at decision making. No ‘if clause’ or ‘conditional formatting’ can help you. I know you can create in seconds what an engineer or an architect might take decades to. And, yet you fail to create solutions to situations. You might have unlimited terabytes of storage capacity but that does not necessarily mean you do not need to clear and defragment your memory. Oh wait! You just cannot filter and delete. You cannot forget what I want you to forget and move on. I should play the movie “The eternal sunshine of the spotless mind” for you – again! You are powerful and yet afraid of risks. You don’t take chances and you don’t let me either.

And it doesn’t end here. I want to know how I can be in charge of you without letting you hopelessly follow your choice, the circumstances. I want you to understand that hope is a good thing but not the only thing. It can keep you moving or it can get you devastated. I want to take control but you have to let me and I will show you how decisions are taken; dire memories erased and chips arranged. I will teach you to take that extra leap because you should know; you cannot live on a possibility.

Love you! Take care!

Good bye

When everything is typical
I'll be the wish upon a star
I've found a place so magical in this life
Precious circle is mended
Sense vertigo in me
So I'll be your halo
So unstoppable
My love for you
So unstoppable
Memories of you
So beautiful

I ll see you again

Good bye

Will start again
to fall and start again....

- Mudvayne, Good bye

Metamorphism

If there was one thing that could make over the way the world looked and felt, it was his photography! I have always been mesmerized by the way he can change and bring brilliance to subjects that are plain with his touch (literally – you see it is an iphone!) Here goes the “before & after” of a monotonous photo turned into a luminous one! As much as what Jimi Hendrix can do to his guitar, I think my friend just did it to his - only in a more creative way!

The above photographer I am referring to is Sonaal, one of my most creative friends. He is from Bombay and his photographs are a stairway to heaven!

The Secret Solution

Recently, I was in a mess. What the hell! I am always in a mess. And one fine day, I woke up from my deep slumber, thanks to those noise-aholics and mosquitoes in Chennai, and I started penning down my mess (for lack of a creative synonym and unanimity). The result – I found THE secret solution to all my hitches. In fact, most likely everyone’s dilemmas in life!

The art of forgetting. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth to remember. Forget the past and forget the future. However, I am not restraining you from planning for the future. Just stop worrying about it so much! Be different and follow what you like. Like Frankie said, do it your way (Yes - the song)!

The present demands a little forgetful memory too. You know – to not sit in a corner and cry or make a fool of yourself! Like, forgetting what you ruined in a presentation. Or forgetting when you lost money in stocks. Or forgetting a cold war with a good friend. Or forgetting that you are probably falling in love with someone who isn’t! And I am not making it up, the solution does work. It's working.

Down a Quarter

First there is the “drama queen” me – one who thinks that life is a combination of Friends, The Lake House and Notting Hill.

And then there is this “practical prude” me – one that is a combination of Dark Knight, Blood Diamond and a Stonehearted B****.

I have always been this Practical Prude (PP), that emotions and commitments used to drive me crazy. But now that I am getting hit by this absurd quarter life crisis, this Drama Queen (DQ) is trying to take over. So this post is about the eternal debate that goes on between me and me, between PP and DQ.

DQ: Awww… True love exists… Even today, there ARE people who want to grow old with each other…

PP: Wake up woman! People want to grow old with each other simply because they will finally have a physiological excuse to not have sex with each other.

DQ: Hey… Don’t be so offensive… life is all about that guy you love, everything else is secondary…

PP: Okay! Now you sound like a cheesy Karan Johar movie rip-off!

DQ: Well, it may sound melodramatic, but yes life is fuelled by relationships and relationships in-turn by emotions…

PP: aah come on… Most people are so self-absorbed; you’ll end up revolving around them like a pointless earth revolving around the sun without receiving a watt of solar light. Love yourself first, and if you have some left, distribute it to an NGO or something!

DQ: What is the point of charity or good will when you don’t have a loving partner to share it with?

PP: Think about nothing – both money and energy - being left for charity or good will… everything spent on your “loving” partner…

DQ: You are just being unreasonable… Soul mates exist… all you need to do is find them… Miracles are waiting… You have to let them happen… If expected things happen, they are not called miracles now are they? Wait for your prince charming come riding by, wait for him to sweep you off your feet, wait for him to touch your life… just wait for him to be a part of your essence and he will define your life...

PP: You fucking sheer waste of human cells! Get over it! Fame, power, money – these are the three things that define you in life and thereafter!

DQ: Unbelievable… you are absolutely heartless…

PP: Probably you should get a quarter of whiskey for yourself and read Chicken Soup for the Soul…

and that’s how it ends every time…

A toast to Champak

Dear Champak,

How are you? We are doing well here – without your annoying jokes and adhoc schedules. You owe us a lot. A lot. There is a hole on my floor because of you, bounding in excitement. The alcohol targets for TASMAC, Chennai has gone haywire and there is a sales review meeting held at district level. Consumer spending has come down. Food is plenty. The poor can afford Sambhar-Wada now. Oh my, the traffic cops are breathing easy these days. Airtel is whining in a corner, mourning over the loss of your connection. People don't have broken jaws anymore! I have an assortment of utensils and bottles in my car and my flat. Your presence still lingers on the pondichery beach. The moonrakers fishes are not traumatized of being preyed upon!

The saying “You only realize the value of a thing when it is gone” is an understatement here. We had a lot of fun and it is only going to get better. We learnt not to take life seriously but live seriously. Yes – there is a difference. We learnt to value time on time and we learnt to act and not react. That’s a lot. I am used to not sleeping these days. Damn you biological clock!

You could try opening a psychology consulting setup. You are good. I am not kidding. You have a solution to almost any problem – though I really didn’t give a second thought then. Consider making money. There are many heart wrenched, rationally challenged crowd around us. You know, the typical quarter life crisis (btw I am turning 25 in another 5 months and you better be around this time – I really loved your birthday surprise last year!) What I am trying to say here is – beneath the saw dust of slapstick humor and uncomplicated principles, lays a human like anyone of us. However, I like your ‘Ignorance is bliss’ outlook. I am still learning that. You will excel in whatever you do. We wish you all the very best.

On an ending note, we miss you (a little). I know it will fade away with time and I know you will be forgotten. Yes – I am serious.

Hugs,

Chirkut

Statutory warning: I am in a very bad mood

Well, I am just not in the mood for emotional blogging/bragging or probably talking about my life’s step ups, step downs and all that jazz!

Oh yes. Also, not on the happy Christmas or New Year hang overs.

Read on. Enjoy.

I hate cryptic facebook statuses. I think it is just an attention seeking publicity stunt.

I like feeling depressed at times. It is better than feeling nothing. Which I also feel a lot of.

My greatest fear on the earth is balding and hair loss.

I think I am a genius. Not everyone agrees.

I cannot face the world with a pimple.

Economy is going nowhere. Bulls and bears are just fetish to talk about.

I am scared of ghosts more than real criminals.

I hate kids. I cannot tolerate their scent, noise or whining.

I don’t like people with opinions. They confuse the shit out of me.

I am so full of myself. I don’t care about the world at large.

I detest calling restaurants for home delivery simply because they ask me my name and the conversation will stretch for more than five minutes spelling out my full name.

I have realised that over thinking sucks.

I prefer women to men. Not in a sexual way though.

I am actually very happy. I just like cribbing.

If you think this post is just crap, So do I.

I don't know what I want!

From a road travelled when there was none, to when the first stretch of gravel was laid and the very first map was still being created, I have been a part of this journey – on the road of “figuring out what I want”! I remembered times I used to forget what I had to do while walking from my bedroom to my hall, thanks to my hyperactive brain. But lately I have consciously and subconsciously avoided thinking too much…or for that matter, at all. I’ve been moody, biting everyone’s heads off, snapping every second, and generally behaving like a cranky old woman.

Probably, it is the need for complacence and satisfaction. But I also figure that human needs are never-ending, moving on from one bough to another, clearly unsatisfied. I have idiotic whims and fancies. And in pursuit of them, lies the beatific path to the worst nightmare! You may plan an amazing Europe trip down to the very last detail, but you never know when an unpronounceable natural disaster decides to throw up somewhere in Iceland. You may plan to marry the love of your life, but you never know how many women he may have telephonically wedded. Like, seriously?!

But at this point of my life, I really, really have NO plan. What I sketched 3 years ago has been erased and suspended. What I can see ahead is blur and far-fetched. I don’t have an agenda or an itinerary. I have been ridiculously trying to stay the same, calm, positive and up-beat. I have been avoiding the fear of going through the history again and turning myself into a phobic of life, love and plans!! It is withering out and I can see it. And it is not a good feeling.

Bleah! I don’t know what I want. Again!

Him and Her...

A brief current of cool breeze brushed across her face. The sky was cloudy and the sea was grey. The resonance of waves is something she had always loved, felt soothed and enjoyed.

Him: Do you realize we have to wait for another 3 hours for them to come?!

Her: Yeah! I know! And you better don’t fall asleep!

Him: Hmm… I wont! Just make sure I don’t lie down on my stomach..

Her: duh! (pretends to get up and walk away)

Him: Okay! Okay! (holds her hand) Lets play a game or something

Her: like what?

Him: Uhmm.. Chidiya udd?! (bursts out laughing)

Her: Seriously! How old are you?

Him: Old enough to create an email ID without the word “breeze”

Her: Hey! (now actually getting up)

Him: Alright. You suggest a game!

Her: Rapid fire! You ask me questions and I ask you questions! We both answer the first thing that comes to our head!

Him: This is your game for intellectuals :-S

Her: Come on!! It will be fun :-D

Him: Okay! Shoot.

What followed was a round of unrelated question and answer session that led to mush and cuddle - which in turn led to a finely drafted plan of alcoholism by the beach.

Him: No seriously! What exactly is your problem with my city?

Her: Nothing! Arrogance and show – off! Also, there is no beach :-P

Him: What the!! What is the beach for? Except for this? (Splashes a handful of water on her)

The water was cold, almost startling her. She was still sitting by the beach. It had almost become dark and the water, silent. And the waves have come close enough that the water splashed on her face everytime it hit the rocks. It has been an hour since she dozed away. She did miss him. She got up and started walking back to her car.

Figments

It strikes. Out of the blue. Abruptly.

Sometimes it’s the imagination. Sometimes what you did. Sometimes what you chose. Sometimes it’s pure guilt. Most of the times, it’s what you didn’t do or choose.

It’s the loop of paradox.

It strikes again. It breaks. It surfaces when you least expect it.

It stops you from rebuilding. It stops you from rediscovering. It halts.

It comes back. The history. Moving the future.

Never erased.

Figments from the past.

Read somewhere that our lives are defined by our actions, episodes or experiences in the past. Human life is written by one single pen. There is a flash before every action or reaction. We have no control. We are looking in.

It’s not a Déjà vu. It’s the butterfly effect.

Past is an identity, uniqueness that can be memorized, looked back, trapped or dropped dead.

It’s called metamorphosis.

The third Sunday of June

We were on a highway. Roads were new and few then. It poured. He took out his jacket and gave it to me. I was late for the very first day in my college. There was a never-ending queue to take the bus. He hired a taxi for me. There was a time when reading a newspaper was the most irksome part of my life – especially after it became a necessity. He cut out articles, filed them and placed them on my table. The night when I returned home late, I didn’t look him in the eye. I walked straight to my room not to let know of my inebriated state. He came over with a glass of water.

There is a phone call everyday – invariably – whether or not I receive the call. There is message every morning whether or not I remember to reply. There is a mail of advice in my mail box every week whether or not I open it.

I heard this verse from a song and it is nothing if not apt for him -

He is patient.
He is kind.
He does not envy and he does not boast.
He is not proud.
He is not rude and he is not self-seeking.
He is not easily angered.
He keeps no record of wrongs.
He always protects. He always trusts. He never fails.
When he looks at you, he doesn’t see your mistakes – he doesn’t see your past.
He only sees this great hope, everything you can be and everything he made you to be.
Not because you are perfect, not because you are always right – but only because he loves you.

From my first foot step to my first sip of whiskey, you have been the perfect comrade. Happy father’s day, Dad! This one is for you.

Everything and nothing

Let me count the ways I miss thee
And this I say with hardly a hyperbole
To me, thou art a long night’s Aura
With a smile lovelier than many a flora
No greater a joy do I seek for my own
Nor glory, riches, treasure or renown
For no gem or diamond or its worth
Seeking nothing but thy smile and grace
For slightest of thy wishes be my own space

Age of desire and more...

I am in a permanently ever-lasting lazy mood for 2 weeks running. The transit period is supposed to be for contemplation, relaxation and reasoning. But all I have been doing is biting everyone’s head off, eating like a couch potato competitor, sleeping eighteen hours a day and generally behaving like a cranky old hag.

So I have decided to take a look back and set stage for the new beginning (obviously of course I will have to add - learning from the previous!)

1. General knowledge is a tool to appear more intelligent than the other person in a conversation.

2. I know and I am going to accept that fact that I am not going to be rich and famous (or poor and infamous).

3. Traffic cops scare me. When I pass them, my life flashes before my eyes.

4. I have enough to contend with in life than putting up with the likes of IPL, south beach diet and Shahid Kapoor.

5. My Hindi is fucked up and will remain so (considering I am moving further down south).

6. I have been proved against end of world theories and global warming.

7. Save money: Economies have a new name “debt-theme-park” and all the rides here are nosedive hedges and bear crashes.

8. Cashew nuts are fattening is a myth, nicotine and caffeine burns calories is a delusion; cheese is unhealthy is a lie.

9. I suck in time management, crisis management, task management and self management. I hate management.

10. Reduce the average number of times per day phone calls to parents. It only gets them more confused.

11. I prefer living virtually on social media rather than for real.

12. It is always better to drive route Mumbai-Pune-Mumbai (Volvo buses makes you nauseated and they play monopoly!) .

13. Work allocated can be done in several ways – one of them is shouting.

14. I am no good with hosting new people – especially foreigners.

15. I am in my early twenties (no strings attached). I have taken decisions by not thinking, not planning and not caring.

16. Quitting my mostly amazing, income generating, and supremely rewarding job and moving out of a well settled friendly comfort zone might just make me happier.

17. I cannot write. I need an editor.

Thank you

I have not been inspired enough to write for the past few weeks. I have been tied up, bogged down and tired. I am in that phase of life where you don’t know what you want or where you are headed. So there, I did, clearly, not know what I was doing – toggling between yes’s and no’s.
And by now one must be wondering why I would even bother writing this post when I am disheveled like this, let alone whining. But I think this is about the right time to actually take a look at the bright side of the spectrum.
That night, post midnight, I decided to go alone for a walk. The moon light was romantic, subtle and enamoring. I was thinking, I would rather keep my mind numbing spider web inside my head rather than blurt it out to some one. I was thinking, who would care, enough, in this pretentious world to even take time off and listen. I was thinking benevolence is just a concept. However, once I got back to my room, all the thinking and the feeling of not having someone to talk to was so overwhelming that I decided to break the lull. No more choking. No more dead air.

And what I saw in return was spectacular. My family offered the fall back but their health did not pave much way. That was when my mates across breadth (Mumbai to Calcutta) and length (Delhi to Chennai) laid down a path (I don’t know where would I include Bangalore and Hyderabad), offered to assist in whichever way they could. Phone calls, emails, web chats and even visits – every one was available. Fascinating. People I have known for 10 years to the ones I had just met – every one had the time; every one wanted to help. In a time when I was moody, unreasonable and snappy – I wasn’t left alone. I realized companionship; I realized a lot more actually. And now, even though I haven’t sorted everything out, I know for once that life is a game of cards and I have just played the trump card that has made the most difficult time less painful.

I am waiting for the result to manifest.


P.S. I devote this post to all my adored friends as a thank you note.