Figments

It strikes. Out of the blue. Abruptly.

Sometimes it’s the imagination. Sometimes what you did. Sometimes what you chose. Sometimes it’s pure guilt. Most of the times, it’s what you didn’t do or choose.

It’s the loop of paradox.

It strikes again. It breaks. It surfaces when you least expect it.

It stops you from rebuilding. It stops you from rediscovering. It halts.

It comes back. The history. Moving the future.

Never erased.

Figments from the past.

Read somewhere that our lives are defined by our actions, episodes or experiences in the past. Human life is written by one single pen. There is a flash before every action or reaction. We have no control. We are looking in.

It’s not a Déjà vu. It’s the butterfly effect.

Past is an identity, uniqueness that can be memorized, looked back, trapped or dropped dead.

It’s called metamorphosis.

The Nothingness

Six long weeks since college got over. I have joined this mid tier IT services company with a good role – predominantly good because I liked and wanted it. Today 13th of May, morning 11.05am I sit in front of my workstation gazing through few photographs and few comments left on a popular social networking site by my ex-batch mates. Not to say that I miss them (which obviously I do) but to say that the drift was way too tangential.

I still remember the last week in college. I was jobless (literally :P) and had all the time in the world to browse, chat, eat delicacies, meet friends and attend parties thrown by all those who were parting the campus. Of course I panicked that I would be the one left alone in the end with everyone leaving one by one. But as the handbook to higher consciousness goes, “to be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have”. I learnt this from a friend of mine who taught me to see the silver lining of every dark cloud and to take pleasure in the moment in your hand right now not looking out for Himalayan expectations. All of this and more made me change my outlook, smile and never look back again.

So, of all the things that happened in the past two years (or my past as a whole) I miss the last two weeks before I left Mumbai the most. Like the majority, the new city is not welcoming, the office is not the class room and the lunches, tea breaks and parties are not something to look forward to anymore. Change is not something which I akin to now. But I think somewhere this friend also got this into my head that to be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring.

To all, Have a great and ever-changing life ahead!