Opinion that mattered

I was asked to grow up. Yes, I was. And so shall it be. I will grow up.

But before that, I wanted to detain this experience and could not find a better place to do that than my age old rusted blog. So, this is about these perpetual arguments I keep having with this guy on the superiority of our respective cities. I don’t want to name the cities (no MNS to attack me, you see) but any one who is familiar with me WILL know what I am talking about.

Hence, we keep playing all our cards – weather, food, people, ocean, traffic, roads & infrastructure, night life, places to see and many other trump cards as well – so much so that once I ended up googling religiously whether iPhone 3G was released first in mine or his city. What came as a surprise is my addiction and arguments (which I have always won no matter what) seemed like a lame comeback most of the times. I do not want to accept that the wittiness on the other side was a little higher than me. Well, if you ask me why have the debate in the first place, I have no answer. It could be lack of anything to do, shortage of friends or just for entertainment – but yes, I firmly vouch for my city (and so does he)! As time moved, I realized that these arguments were not only futile but they were merely fact based judgments tuned to suit your case in point. To yield without conviction is no compliment to the understanding of either.


Any city you live in just grows into you over a period of time and the attachment to the city and its people take root to what you call ‘patterns’. For me, when I feel the sea breeze on my face, the rhythm of the ocean and a book to read in the vantage point from where you can best take in the gold-stranded skyline, I finally exhale. So, when my city calls back, there is a fair chance that I miss the current city (and its people) equally. I don’t know. May be this is called ‘growing up’. But nevertheless, I am going to be the same prejudiced feminist city addict because that’s what connects me to this guy, this friend who also owns it himself without disguise.

The Nothingness

Six long weeks since college got over. I have joined this mid tier IT services company with a good role – predominantly good because I liked and wanted it. Today 13th of May, morning 11.05am I sit in front of my workstation gazing through few photographs and few comments left on a popular social networking site by my ex-batch mates. Not to say that I miss them (which obviously I do) but to say that the drift was way too tangential.

I still remember the last week in college. I was jobless (literally :P) and had all the time in the world to browse, chat, eat delicacies, meet friends and attend parties thrown by all those who were parting the campus. Of course I panicked that I would be the one left alone in the end with everyone leaving one by one. But as the handbook to higher consciousness goes, “to be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have”. I learnt this from a friend of mine who taught me to see the silver lining of every dark cloud and to take pleasure in the moment in your hand right now not looking out for Himalayan expectations. All of this and more made me change my outlook, smile and never look back again.

So, of all the things that happened in the past two years (or my past as a whole) I miss the last two weeks before I left Mumbai the most. Like the majority, the new city is not welcoming, the office is not the class room and the lunches, tea breaks and parties are not something to look forward to anymore. Change is not something which I akin to now. But I think somewhere this friend also got this into my head that to be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring.

To all, Have a great and ever-changing life ahead!

All that you can't leave behind

We all wanted a perfect ending. Now we have learned, the hard way, that some poetry don't rhyme, some paths are not smooth and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end.

We seldom express love and when we do its either too late or the love is vanished. We refrain from confessions. We cant get ourselves to thank someone for being there in need. We forget to appreciate the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth. But may be, this is the time. We talk for hours saying nothing much, in the much sought after gossip room of our hostels. May be this is the time to say something - anything - and make the perfect ending. Because life is about not knowing, not having to change but taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what is going to happen next.

The road has been rough and tough. And I know the heart aches to break away into the freedom, drift far away and never look back again. But memories do ease the pain. And it is up to us to create and filter the memories we would want to hold on. May be the class rooms, the IPs, the mail chains, the parties, the surf baths, the vrindy food and all the bakar sessions. May be all this you will miss and may be all this you can't leave behind...

Socha nahi, toh socho abhi..

To think is to create. Thinking is the most rudimentary form of prayer. It is the most comprehensive solution provider. Every thought that comes to you tends to manifest according to its nature. Everything in your life begins with thinking - an idea. The notion of something coming into existence without a thought preceding it is as preposterous as a flower coming into existence without a seed to start it.

And so I say, to change your life, begin by changing your thoughts. Thoughts of love, light and joy beget more of the same and thoughts of fear, insecurity and smallness attract the same. The world is not a happy place with negative thoughts deep inside. If you want to attempt external changes, begin with an inner transformation. You weren't born to live small; you weren't born to compromise and you don't have to. Its about thinking what you do want - instead of what you do not want. The moment our attitude shifts, so does the situation...

Sunflower that shined :)

Early morning 6:00 am: too cosy a bed to wake up from the deep slumber...
7:30 am: God, this must be a long road.. After all it connects two states!
8:07 am: whats the point in "checking in" anyways? ;)
8:45 am: I wonder if these guys are actually talking to clients!
9:15 am: Where is this guy(project partner)? I need a chai company :(
Chai Time 10.30 am: Ummm..May be he is right, I hardly see a stricking girl around..
10.50 am: Okay, I just mailed the honeywell friend and the friend in hyderabad.. Now what?
11.15 am: Internal communicator rocks! I mean, lunch ka plan kaise hoga phir?
Lunch 12.30 pm: Grrr.... This fellow is consistently 15 minutes late.. Kya hoga iska??!
At the Queue 12.45 pm: Chicken? Naah, I am dieting! Health Menu? No taste! North Indian Thali? Too much! Okay, Paratha and Dahi :)
1.00 pm: 9XM, Aunties and Ducks.... Uff... Aur kuch?
2.00 pm: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Chai Time 4.00 pm: Is there a 24/7 pantry also?
5.45 pm: Bus pakadna hai.. woh bhi akele! Grrr...
7.30 pm: Home Sweet Home :) hmm.. dinner mein kya hoga.. Hunger engulfing me! :P
9.00 pm: Mumbai mein aisa gym kholungi (or may be here only.. along with Aps! :P)... with TV, music and trainers! you know - trainers ;)
Dinner 10.00 pm: Gosh I will miss this food :) Yumm! Thanks Aunty...
Bed time 11.00 pm: Just sent a Gnite msg to my friend.. hmmm... Nice, chill life - aint it.. :) Will miss it though when I get back.. I really dunno what the future holds but these memories will keep me near, in silent whispers and in silent moments... Its worth it all... :) anyway chalo so jaate hai, have to wake up at 6.00 am tomorrow! Gnite! :)

Alice in Wonderland

Yes – since childhood. This is one book which fascinates me perpetually; One of my all-time favorite classics. The nerve here is not the fairy tale, but the underlying connotation or denotation or whatever you adults would like to call it. Alice has a timeless appeal, fantastic story and quirky events.

Almost all of us have experienced events right from falling into the strange never ending dark rabbit hole till landing in the Queen’s croquet ground. Ah! I still remember - “Off with their heads!!” In fact the story seems even more surreal nowadays, because we moderns don’t always spot the allusions. For most of us, it can hardly be a story which rambles from incident to incident with very little clear plot. The characters – every page has a new and even more fantastic creature emerging. The humor - the plot is laden with puns. The protagonist – remarkable dreamlike quality. These entire things put together are nothing but a fantasy tale which portrays what kind of life we should be living. The characters – keep making new and even more fantastic friends/relationships. The humor – live with a marvelous slapstick. The protagonist – it is you who can get the story going the way you want it to. Of course, it is a wonderland! :)

For all those who find my posts cryptic or puzzling, I am quoting Humpty Dumpty’s theory of language which he had quoted to Alice – "When I use a word, it means what I choose it to mean, neither more nor less…"

Mirror Images

It’s not always that you meet someone who shares a common purpose of life or at least - a similar one. You don't meet people with whom you feel safe and jubilant everyday. You can't build a lifetime relationship on compatibility alone. You need a lot more!!

Being a self-absorbed person, I exactly know how it feels when 'friendly' people barge into your life - desperately trying, inquiring and fidgeting. I do not even know if they believe in building a foundation. And then, there is the second kind of people. They seem to have planned everything before walking down the aisle. They come in, not to change or know us, but to become a part of us; or may be to show that a part exists in you that you didn’t know – till then. They work more with their head and less with their heart; after all, it pays to be as objective as possible. There is never a run out of topics with them. There is never a sour moment. And then one fine day, you recognize that they are your own reflections. The person becomes a mensch when you are seeking comfort; a materialistic when you look for growth; a teacher when you are insecure.

That is when you know you have built a lifetime relationship and that is when you have met your mirror image. I do not know if such relationships are fictional, eroding with time. But I do know there is a sense of belonging which tells me you CAN grow together instead of growing apart.