Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Down a Quarter

First there is the “drama queen” me – one who thinks that life is a combination of Friends, The Lake House and Notting Hill.

And then there is this “practical prude” me – one that is a combination of Dark Knight, Blood Diamond and a Stonehearted B****.

I have always been this Practical Prude (PP), that emotions and commitments used to drive me crazy. But now that I am getting hit by this absurd quarter life crisis, this Drama Queen (DQ) is trying to take over. So this post is about the eternal debate that goes on between me and me, between PP and DQ.

DQ: Awww… True love exists… Even today, there ARE people who want to grow old with each other…

PP: Wake up woman! People want to grow old with each other simply because they will finally have a physiological excuse to not have sex with each other.

DQ: Hey… Don’t be so offensive… life is all about that guy you love, everything else is secondary…

PP: Okay! Now you sound like a cheesy Karan Johar movie rip-off!

DQ: Well, it may sound melodramatic, but yes life is fuelled by relationships and relationships in-turn by emotions…

PP: aah come on… Most people are so self-absorbed; you’ll end up revolving around them like a pointless earth revolving around the sun without receiving a watt of solar light. Love yourself first, and if you have some left, distribute it to an NGO or something!

DQ: What is the point of charity or good will when you don’t have a loving partner to share it with?

PP: Think about nothing – both money and energy - being left for charity or good will… everything spent on your “loving” partner…

DQ: You are just being unreasonable… Soul mates exist… all you need to do is find them… Miracles are waiting… You have to let them happen… If expected things happen, they are not called miracles now are they? Wait for your prince charming come riding by, wait for him to sweep you off your feet, wait for him to touch your life… just wait for him to be a part of your essence and he will define your life...

PP: You fucking sheer waste of human cells! Get over it! Fame, power, money – these are the three things that define you in life and thereafter!

DQ: Unbelievable… you are absolutely heartless…

PP: Probably you should get a quarter of whiskey for yourself and read Chicken Soup for the Soul…

and that’s how it ends every time…

Thursday, February 3, 2011

A toast to Champak

Dear Champak,
How are you? We are doing well here – without your annoying jokes and adhoc schedules. You owe us a lot. A lot. There is a hole on my floor because of you, bounding in excitement. The alcohol targets for TASMAC, Chennai has gone haywire and there is a sales review meeting held at district level. Consumer spending has come down. Food is plenty. The poor can afford Sambhar-Wada now. Oh my, the traffic cops are breathing easy these days. Airtel is whining in a corner, mourning over the loss of your connection. People don't have broken jaws anymore! I have an assortment of utensils and bottles in my car and my flat. Your presence still lingers on the pondichery beach. The moonrakers fishes are not traumatized of being preyed upon!
The saying “You only realize the value of a thing when it is gone” is an understatement here. We had a lot of fun and it is only going to get better. We learnt not to take life seriously but live seriously. Yes – there is a difference. We learnt to value time on time and we learnt to act and not react. That’s a lot. I am used to not sleeping these days. Damn you biological clock!
You could try opening a psychology consulting setup. You are good. I am not kidding. You have a solution to almost any problem – though I really didn’t give a second thought then. Consider making money. There are many heart wrenched, rationally challenged crowd around us. You know, the typical quarter life crisis (btw I am turning 25 in another 5 months and you better be around this time – I really loved your birthday surprise last year!) What I am trying to say here is – beneath the saw dust of slapstick humor and uncomplicated principles, lays a human like anyone of us. However, I like your ‘Ignorance is bliss’ outlook. I am still learning that. You will excel in whatever you do. We wish you all the very best.
On an ending note, we miss you (a little). I know it will fade away with time and I know you will be forgotten. Yes – I am serious.