Another year went by and a new one starts – and I seem to be mired in one too many things to get the focus and aspiration to write. So I decided to pen down the lyrics of a song I have been listening to a lot lately. A very good friend of mine sent this song to me and said it cheered him up.
See the animal in it's cage that you built
Are you sure what side you're on?
Better not look him too closely in the eye
Are you sure what side of the glass you are on?
See the safety of the life you have built
Everything where it belongs
Feel the hollowness inside of your heart
And it's all
Right where it belongs
What if all the world's inside of your head
Just creations of your own?
Your devils and your gods
All the living and the dead
And you really are alone
You can live in this illusion
You can choose to believe
You keep looking but you can't find the woods
While you're hiding in the trees
What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you used to know
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection
Is it all you wanted to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks
Would you find yourself
Find yourself afraid to see?
P.S. The song is called Right Where It Belongs by Nine Inch Nails.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Things not to do when you are sick and zonked
1. Come up with one liners
(You are very likely to come up with something like “Life is like a question paper without questions”)
2. Call your folks and tell them you are ill
(They are going to return calls for the next 2 days, every 5 minutes asking if you have recovered!)
3. Try taking a walk to get some fresh air
(Falling, stumbling, toppling, rolling, tripping, and slipping… everything… every freaking thing happens!)
4. Call for groceries
(They get you “Boondi Raita” when you ask for “Bournvita”)
5. Take an off from work and sleep
(The brain is hyper active when kept on a pillow – to-do lists, agendas, outlook calendar, excel sheets, history, chemistry, apocalypse – everything pops up invariably)
6. Cook
(Half burnt food is okay – but half burnt kitchen? NOT OKAY!)
7. Visit any random unknown doctor
(The time you take to explain you, your medical history and current symptoms multiplied by the time he takes to comprehend, equals the time taken to fall sick and get over it 12 times untreated)
8. Write a blog post
(yeah.. well..!)
(You are very likely to come up with something like “Life is like a question paper without questions”)
2. Call your folks and tell them you are ill
(They are going to return calls for the next 2 days, every 5 minutes asking if you have recovered!)
3. Try taking a walk to get some fresh air
(Falling, stumbling, toppling, rolling, tripping, and slipping… everything… every freaking thing happens!)
4. Call for groceries
(They get you “Boondi Raita” when you ask for “Bournvita”)
5. Take an off from work and sleep
(The brain is hyper active when kept on a pillow – to-do lists, agendas, outlook calendar, excel sheets, history, chemistry, apocalypse – everything pops up invariably)
6. Cook
(Half burnt food is okay – but half burnt kitchen? NOT OKAY!)
7. Visit any random unknown doctor
(The time you take to explain you, your medical history and current symptoms multiplied by the time he takes to comprehend, equals the time taken to fall sick and get over it 12 times untreated)
8. Write a blog post
(yeah.. well..!)
Monday, November 16, 2009
A companion
I dedicate this piece of my writing to one of my closest friends back in S.P.Jain (others being my room mate J and a handful more).
She just lived a couple of rooms away from mine. She was a south Indian. She loved eating. She was a keen gymnast and a diet chaser (that is how we bonded). She adored trying out fashion and hair styles. She was always ready for a trip. She could pamper and withhold me. She was there when no one was. She was a companion.
I still remember the first time we met – she being from Vizag was enquiring me about Mumbai. Today, I am sure she loves Mumbai more than any city in the country (thanks to me! :P). I remember the times we vanished from hostel to escape the curfew, head to party and return the next morning unheard of by the guard. I remember how we would not eat the mess food and hog salads and veggies (and subway of course) to lose weightJ. I remember how I got her experience the first rain by marine lines. I cherish the times when we were the last ones to sleep and last ones to wake up and wonder,
[“hey good morning, what do we do for breakfast?”
“bitch its 2.30 in the afternoon – good afternoon!”
“ok – lunch”
“veg grilled sandwich w/o cheese and cutting chai?”
“done – I am ordering from vrindavan”
“alright – listen gym at 4pm today instead of 5pm?”
“why?”
“I have to finish this assignment”
“when is the deadline”
“uh – yesterday :P”
“lol.. gym at 5pm it is!”], while the entire hostel is back in college attending classes. I love the way we reached examinations hall 15 minutes late and yet leave way before the end time.
I realized how important it is to have someone close by your side once she was gone (oh god! I sound like a lesbian! :P) I still call her up when I have a bad day, when I feel alone or when I overeat J
P.S: This post was due since your birthday – finally got the time - I love you, Prathi!
Always,
Lux!
She just lived a couple of rooms away from mine. She was a south Indian. She loved eating. She was a keen gymnast and a diet chaser (that is how we bonded). She adored trying out fashion and hair styles. She was always ready for a trip. She could pamper and withhold me. She was there when no one was. She was a companion.
I still remember the first time we met – she being from Vizag was enquiring me about Mumbai. Today, I am sure she loves Mumbai more than any city in the country (thanks to me! :P). I remember the times we vanished from hostel to escape the curfew, head to party and return the next morning unheard of by the guard. I remember how we would not eat the mess food and hog salads and veggies (and subway of course) to lose weightJ. I remember how I got her experience the first rain by marine lines. I cherish the times when we were the last ones to sleep and last ones to wake up and wonder,
[“hey good morning, what do we do for breakfast?”
“bitch its 2.30 in the afternoon – good afternoon!”
“ok – lunch”
“veg grilled sandwich w/o cheese and cutting chai?”
“done – I am ordering from vrindavan”
“alright – listen gym at 4pm today instead of 5pm?”
“why?”
“I have to finish this assignment”
“when is the deadline”
“uh – yesterday :P”
“lol.. gym at 5pm it is!”], while the entire hostel is back in college attending classes. I love the way we reached examinations hall 15 minutes late and yet leave way before the end time.
I realized how important it is to have someone close by your side once she was gone (oh god! I sound like a lesbian! :P) I still call her up when I have a bad day, when I feel alone or when I overeat J
P.S: This post was due since your birthday – finally got the time - I love you, Prathi!
Always,
Lux!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Opinion that mattered
I was asked to grow up. Yes, I was. And so shall it be. I will grow up.
But before that, I wanted to detain this experience and could not find a better place to do that than my age old rusted blog. So, this is about these perpetual arguments I keep having with this guy on the superiority of our respective cities. I don’t want to name the cities (no MNS to attack me, you see) but any one who is familiar with me WILL know what I am talking about.
Hence, we keep playing all our cards – weather, food, people, ocean, traffic, roads & infrastructure, night life, places to see and many other trump cards as well – so much so that once I ended up googling religiously whether iPhone 3G was released first in mine or his city. What came as a surprise is my addiction and arguments (which I have always won no matter what) seemed like a lame comeback most of the times. I do not want to accept that the wittiness on the other side was a little higher than me. Well, if you ask me why have the debate in the first place, I have no answer. It could be lack of anything to do, shortage of friends or just for entertainment – but yes, I firmly vouch for my city (and so does he)! As time moved, I realized that these arguments were not only futile but they were merely fact based judgments tuned to suit your case in point. To yield without conviction is no compliment to the understanding of either.
Any city you live in just grows into you over a period of time and the attachment to the city and its people take root to what you call ‘patterns’. For me, when I feel the sea breeze on my face, the rhythm of the ocean and a book to read in the vantage point from where you can best take in the gold-stranded skyline, I finally exhale. So, when my city calls back, there is a fair chance that I miss the current city (and its people) equally. I don’t know. May be this is called ‘growing up’. But nevertheless, I am going to be the same prejudiced feminist city addict because that’s what connects me to this guy, this friend who also owns it himself without disguise.
But before that, I wanted to detain this experience and could not find a better place to do that than my age old rusted blog. So, this is about these perpetual arguments I keep having with this guy on the superiority of our respective cities. I don’t want to name the cities (no MNS to attack me, you see) but any one who is familiar with me WILL know what I am talking about.
Hence, we keep playing all our cards – weather, food, people, ocean, traffic, roads & infrastructure, night life, places to see and many other trump cards as well – so much so that once I ended up googling religiously whether iPhone 3G was released first in mine or his city. What came as a surprise is my addiction and arguments (which I have always won no matter what) seemed like a lame comeback most of the times. I do not want to accept that the wittiness on the other side was a little higher than me. Well, if you ask me why have the debate in the first place, I have no answer. It could be lack of anything to do, shortage of friends or just for entertainment – but yes, I firmly vouch for my city (and so does he)! As time moved, I realized that these arguments were not only futile but they were merely fact based judgments tuned to suit your case in point. To yield without conviction is no compliment to the understanding of either.
Any city you live in just grows into you over a period of time and the attachment to the city and its people take root to what you call ‘patterns’. For me, when I feel the sea breeze on my face, the rhythm of the ocean and a book to read in the vantage point from where you can best take in the gold-stranded skyline, I finally exhale. So, when my city calls back, there is a fair chance that I miss the current city (and its people) equally. I don’t know. May be this is called ‘growing up’. But nevertheless, I am going to be the same prejudiced feminist city addict because that’s what connects me to this guy, this friend who also owns it himself without disguise.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
The Nothingness
Six long weeks since college got over. I have joined this mid tier IT services company with a good role – predominantly good because I liked and wanted it. Today 13th of May, morning 11.05am I sit in front of my workstation gazing through few photographs and few comments left on a popular social networking site by my ex-batch mates. Not to say that I miss them (which obviously I do) but to say that the drift was way too tangential.
I still remember the last week in college. I was jobless (literally :P) and had all the time in the world to browse, chat, eat delicacies, meet friends and attend parties thrown by all those who were parting the campus. Of course I panicked that I would be the one left alone in the end with everyone leaving one by one. But as the handbook to higher consciousness goes, “to be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have”. I learnt this from a friend of mine who taught me to see the silver lining of every dark cloud and to take pleasure in the moment in your hand right now not looking out for Himalayan expectations. All of this and more made me change my outlook, smile and never look back again.
So, of all the things that happened in the past two years (or my past as a whole) I miss the last two weeks before I left Mumbai the most. Like the majority, the new city is not welcoming, the office is not the class room and the lunches, tea breaks and parties are not something to look forward to anymore. Change is not something which I akin to now. But I think somewhere this friend also got this into my head that to be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring.
To all, Have a great and ever-changing life ahead!
I still remember the last week in college. I was jobless (literally :P) and had all the time in the world to browse, chat, eat delicacies, meet friends and attend parties thrown by all those who were parting the campus. Of course I panicked that I would be the one left alone in the end with everyone leaving one by one. But as the handbook to higher consciousness goes, “to be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have”. I learnt this from a friend of mine who taught me to see the silver lining of every dark cloud and to take pleasure in the moment in your hand right now not looking out for Himalayan expectations. All of this and more made me change my outlook, smile and never look back again.
So, of all the things that happened in the past two years (or my past as a whole) I miss the last two weeks before I left Mumbai the most. Like the majority, the new city is not welcoming, the office is not the class room and the lunches, tea breaks and parties are not something to look forward to anymore. Change is not something which I akin to now. But I think somewhere this friend also got this into my head that to be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring.
To all, Have a great and ever-changing life ahead!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
All that you can't leave behind
We all wanted a perfect ending. Now we have learned, the hard way, that some poetry don't rhyme, some paths are not smooth and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end.
We seldom express love and when we do its either too late or the love is vanished. We refrain from confessions. We cant get ourselves to thank someone for being there in need. We forget to appreciate the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth. But may be, this is the time. We talk for hours saying nothing much, in the much sought after gossip room of our hostels. May be this is the time to say something - anything - and make the perfect ending. Because life is about not knowing, not having to change but taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what is going to happen next.
The road has been rough and tough. And I know the heart aches to break away into the freedom, drift far away and never look back again. But memories do ease the pain. And it is up to us to create and filter the memories we would want to hold on. May be the class rooms, the IPs, the mail chains, the parties, the surf baths, the vrindy food and all the bakar sessions. May be all this you will miss and may be all this you can't leave behind...
We seldom express love and when we do its either too late or the love is vanished. We refrain from confessions. We cant get ourselves to thank someone for being there in need. We forget to appreciate the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth. But may be, this is the time. We talk for hours saying nothing much, in the much sought after gossip room of our hostels. May be this is the time to say something - anything - and make the perfect ending. Because life is about not knowing, not having to change but taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what is going to happen next.
The road has been rough and tough. And I know the heart aches to break away into the freedom, drift far away and never look back again. But memories do ease the pain. And it is up to us to create and filter the memories we would want to hold on. May be the class rooms, the IPs, the mail chains, the parties, the surf baths, the vrindy food and all the bakar sessions. May be all this you will miss and may be all this you can't leave behind...
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