The Secret Solution

Recently, I was in a mess. What the hell! I am always in a mess. And one fine day, I woke up from my deep slumber, thanks to those noise-aholics and mosquitoes in Chennai, and I started penning down my mess (for lack of a creative synonym and unanimity). The result – I found THE secret solution to all my hitches. In fact, most likely everyone’s dilemmas in life!

The art of forgetting. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth to remember. Forget the past and forget the future. However, I am not restraining you from planning for the future. Just stop worrying about it so much! Be different and follow what you like. Like Frankie said, do it your way (Yes - the song)!

The present demands a little forgetful memory too. You know – to not sit in a corner and cry or make a fool of yourself! Like, forgetting what you ruined in a presentation. Or forgetting when you lost money in stocks. Or forgetting a cold war with a good friend. Or forgetting that you are probably falling in love with someone who isn’t! And I am not making it up, the solution does work. It's working.

Down a Quarter

First there is the “drama queen” me – one who thinks that life is a combination of Friends, The Lake House and Notting Hill.

And then there is this “practical prude” me – one that is a combination of Dark Knight, Blood Diamond and a Stonehearted B****.

I have always been this Practical Prude (PP), that emotions and commitments used to drive me crazy. But now that I am getting hit by this absurd quarter life crisis, this Drama Queen (DQ) is trying to take over. So this post is about the eternal debate that goes on between me and me, between PP and DQ.

DQ: Awww… True love exists… Even today, there ARE people who want to grow old with each other…

PP: Wake up woman! People want to grow old with each other simply because they will finally have a physiological excuse to not have sex with each other.

DQ: Hey… Don’t be so offensive… life is all about that guy you love, everything else is secondary…

PP: Okay! Now you sound like a cheesy Karan Johar movie rip-off!

DQ: Well, it may sound melodramatic, but yes life is fuelled by relationships and relationships in-turn by emotions…

PP: aah come on… Most people are so self-absorbed; you’ll end up revolving around them like a pointless earth revolving around the sun without receiving a watt of solar light. Love yourself first, and if you have some left, distribute it to an NGO or something!

DQ: What is the point of charity or good will when you don’t have a loving partner to share it with?

PP: Think about nothing – both money and energy - being left for charity or good will… everything spent on your “loving” partner…

DQ: You are just being unreasonable… Soul mates exist… all you need to do is find them… Miracles are waiting… You have to let them happen… If expected things happen, they are not called miracles now are they? Wait for your prince charming come riding by, wait for him to sweep you off your feet, wait for him to touch your life… just wait for him to be a part of your essence and he will define your life...

PP: You fucking sheer waste of human cells! Get over it! Fame, power, money – these are the three things that define you in life and thereafter!

DQ: Unbelievable… you are absolutely heartless…

PP: Probably you should get a quarter of whiskey for yourself and read Chicken Soup for the Soul…

and that’s how it ends every time…

Him and Her...

A brief current of cool breeze brushed across her face. The sky was cloudy and the sea was grey. The resonance of waves is something she had always loved, felt soothed and enjoyed.

Him: Do you realize we have to wait for another 3 hours for them to come?!

Her: Yeah! I know! And you better don’t fall asleep!

Him: Hmm… I wont! Just make sure I don’t lie down on my stomach..

Her: duh! (pretends to get up and walk away)

Him: Okay! Okay! (holds her hand) Lets play a game or something

Her: like what?

Him: Uhmm.. Chidiya udd?! (bursts out laughing)

Her: Seriously! How old are you?

Him: Old enough to create an email ID without the word “breeze”

Her: Hey! (now actually getting up)

Him: Alright. You suggest a game!

Her: Rapid fire! You ask me questions and I ask you questions! We both answer the first thing that comes to our head!

Him: This is your game for intellectuals :-S

Her: Come on!! It will be fun :-D

Him: Okay! Shoot.

What followed was a round of unrelated question and answer session that led to mush and cuddle - which in turn led to a finely drafted plan of alcoholism by the beach.

Him: No seriously! What exactly is your problem with my city?

Her: Nothing! Arrogance and show – off! Also, there is no beach :-P

Him: What the!! What is the beach for? Except for this? (Splashes a handful of water on her)

The water was cold, almost startling her. She was still sitting by the beach. It had almost become dark and the water, silent. And the waves have come close enough that the water splashed on her face everytime it hit the rocks. It has been an hour since she dozed away. She did miss him. She got up and started walking back to her car.

Figments

It strikes. Out of the blue. Abruptly.

Sometimes it’s the imagination. Sometimes what you did. Sometimes what you chose. Sometimes it’s pure guilt. Most of the times, it’s what you didn’t do or choose.

It’s the loop of paradox.

It strikes again. It breaks. It surfaces when you least expect it.

It stops you from rebuilding. It stops you from rediscovering. It halts.

It comes back. The history. Moving the future.

Never erased.

Figments from the past.

Read somewhere that our lives are defined by our actions, episodes or experiences in the past. Human life is written by one single pen. There is a flash before every action or reaction. We have no control. We are looking in.

It’s not a Déjà vu. It’s the butterfly effect.

Past is an identity, uniqueness that can be memorized, looked back, trapped or dropped dead.

It’s called metamorphosis.

Dark side of Reality

We are a million different people from one day to the next. We desire a zillion different things every day. I was reading this book today. It said – It is OK to want; It is OK to desire because God never says NO – never denies.

But what I perceived, since forever, is that the more you want the farther the desired will move away from you. God will never let you have anything which is not for your betterment – or which is not “meant for you”. So is it really true that when your heart seriously desires something with all its might, against all odds, the entire universe conspires in helping to achieve it? Are your feelings really answered? I don’t think so. Life cannot be that easy. There are lots of laws and constraints ruling our lives. Some of them external but most of them has only one creator, you. But despite your passion, desire and want, you still cannot achieve what you wanted – not always.

This holds true from very little things to life changing assessments. Like wanting the shower to halt when you do not have an umbrella or hoping you will someday land up in your dream job or falling in love with someone who is just so impossible...