I have not been inspired enough to write for the past few weeks. I have been tied up, bogged down and tired. I am in that phase of life where you don’t know what you want or where you are headed. So there, I did, clearly, not know what I was doing – toggling between yes’s and no’s.
And by now one must be wondering why I would even bother writing this post when I am disheveled like this, let alone whining. But I think this is about the right time to actually take a look at the bright side of the spectrum.
That night, post midnight, I decided to go alone for a walk. The moon light was romantic, subtle and enamoring. I was thinking, I would rather keep my mind numbing spider web inside my head rather than blurt it out to some one. I was thinking, who would care, enough, in this pretentious world to even take time off and listen. I was thinking benevolence is just a concept. However, once I got back to my room, all the thinking and the feeling of not having someone to talk to was so overwhelming that I decided to break the lull. No more choking. No more dead air.
And what I saw in return was spectacular. My family offered the fall back but their health did not pave much way. That was when my mates across breadth (Mumbai to Calcutta) and length (Delhi to Chennai) laid down a path (I don’t know where would I include Bangalore and Hyderabad), offered to assist in whichever way they could. Phone calls, emails, web chats and even visits – every one was available. Fascinating. People I have known for 10 years to the ones I had just met – every one had the time; every one wanted to help. In a time when I was moody, unreasonable and snappy – I wasn’t left alone. I realized companionship; I realized a lot more actually. And now, even though I haven’t sorted everything out, I know for once that life is a game of cards and I have just played the trump card that has made the most difficult time less painful.
I am waiting for the result to manifest.
P.S. I devote this post to all my adored friends as a thank you note.